My Grandma Adah

As a little girl my Grandma Adah use to take me to church. A cute little home town church, I think was Protestant. I can remember attending Sunday school and singing Jesus Loves Me. I loved that song. I use to sing it at the top of my lungs to all our hogs who I just know loved to hear me sing.

When I was eight years old my Grandma Adah was diagnosed with Creutzfeldt–Jakob disease (pronounced /ˈkrɔɪtsfɛlt ˈjɑkɔp/) (sometimes incorrectly referred to as mad cow disease) is a degenerative neurological disorder (brain disease) that is incurable and invariably fatal. It was horrible watching the person you love so much fade away to nothing, right before your eyes. I wanted to take care of her, as much as I could do being only eight. But I spent most of the next two years of my life at least trying to take care of her and spending every moment that I was allowed to by her side. One day I came home from school and no one was home. In short my Grandma passed away at the hospital while I was at school. I never got to tell her good-bye. I still get so emotional even today just thinking back to that moment in time. I was so mad and upset with everyone, especially God. How could he take the most important person from me…..I was only ten and I needed her so much. How could I survive? It was a pretty sad time in my life. I can remember performing séances with my sister and asking the candles flame to flicker if she was near…and it would. We would ask her questions and all the while the answers were correct. Were we just believing in something just to hang on to her or was she really communicating to us? I believed she communicated to us. I also could feel her with me every day. One time my Dad told me to clean the kitchen; I was about 14 at the time. Now my parents believed in capital punishment to say the least and if that kitchen wasn’t clean I was in for one serious awakening when my Dad got home. Well, like any typical teenage girl I totally screwed off until all of a sudden I realized they would be home any second. I prayed to my Grandma to control her son and to make him in a good mood when he got home and to give me the speed of lightening to finish these dishes. I didn’t finish the dishes, and I also didn’t get punished because Dad was in a pleasant forgiving mood. I gave all the credit to my Grandmother, thank goodness! My Grandma is my best friend even though her body isn’t here; she has been with me all through my life.

When I started dating, there was a certain boy that my Grandma didn’t want me to out with or didn’t approve I guess….how do I know this? Well, Grandma would lock me in my room…there was no lock on my door. I married that boy and had two beautiful children with him. If I would have listened to her, I of course wouldn’t have two beautiful children but perhaps would have married the man I am married to now; in which we also share a beautiful son together. Grandma knew!! The door was never locked when my husband today came to hang out with me.

When I graduated high school, got married, left home. Mom kept my room the same as when I left so when I got to come home for a visit a year later I could lay in my bed and reminisce of all the conversations that Grandma and I had and all of the times she altered Dad’s moods. I felt guilty at this time, why should she keep hanging around me when there was probably such a better place for her to be. I was all grown up with a baby and a husband now…I thought I should let her go to be free. Or as Melinda puts it on Ghost Whisperer….to let Grandma free to go into the light. I told Grandma to please go into the light and that I would miss her dearly. I don't know why I had to do that.....I just knew in my soul that it must be done. We said our good-byes and I cried. Ya know…I have never stopped talking to her, and I never stopped believing that she was by my side when I needed her the most. The moral to this story is to realize that our loved ones will always be near us and are a real part of our lives. They can find many ways to communicate to us whether it be by a song playing on the radio; a license plate with their name on it; a telephone call with no one on the other end; a cool gentle breeze with the smell of their favorite flower. Just know you are never alone.